ramblings...
you are holding the thread that keeps me together and every step you take you are slowly unraveling me to pieces.
in all honesty i don't know why i feel this way...i mean i just feel like crying. you know that feeling you get when you know someone well and they go somewhere and you know that this will be the last time you will talk to them let alone see them. that feeling where your throat closes up and your heart starts beating faster and faster and every piece of you wants to cry? thats how i feel now, but i don't understand it. sometimes i wish i took more chances or before i took that step, ran in the other direction and never looked back. yes i think the latter would have been the key to lock the door, to shut it all out.
urgh..i don't know. wow thats a big thing with me i always never know. how is that possible? i mean i always say i don't know, but maybe i do, but saying i don't know makes me pretend i don't and makes life i bit easier to handel. what a load of crock, haha. there i think i found a new years resolution: don't say "i don't know" because its a lie and you really do know, you just don't want to admit it.
oh my...i don't...see there i was going to say it again, but why? my brain is working so hard with little things that i shouldn't be worried about, or are not the slightest priority whatsoever. life is a messed up thing, but people fight for it everyday. i guess its one of those things that because you have it, you don't know its full worth. for me right this minute life isn't so peachy keen and i would trade my life for anything, but i guess i just should open my eyes wider - a friend told me that once, it was a comment he gave me for something i wrote in a blog. you know people are a mystery. well some people. i don't think i will ever understand you, not in a million years, and i thought hey why not try...but i'm not too sure anymore.
wow at the beginning of this i was rather uneasy and well, upset i guess you could say, but now i feel better. my chest feels lighter and i breath easy. i have just come to the realization of why there are blogs. they are there to help you let it all out, so show off talent(not in my case - with my poor spelling and crappy word choice -never!) and to share with random people the little things in your life that to you seem the world.
i think now i can go to bed with an ease.
so good night, until next time...
in all honesty i don't know why i feel this way...i mean i just feel like crying. you know that feeling you get when you know someone well and they go somewhere and you know that this will be the last time you will talk to them let alone see them. that feeling where your throat closes up and your heart starts beating faster and faster and every piece of you wants to cry? thats how i feel now, but i don't understand it. sometimes i wish i took more chances or before i took that step, ran in the other direction and never looked back. yes i think the latter would have been the key to lock the door, to shut it all out.
urgh..i don't know. wow thats a big thing with me i always never know. how is that possible? i mean i always say i don't know, but maybe i do, but saying i don't know makes me pretend i don't and makes life i bit easier to handel. what a load of crock, haha. there i think i found a new years resolution: don't say "i don't know" because its a lie and you really do know, you just don't want to admit it.
oh my...i don't...see there i was going to say it again, but why? my brain is working so hard with little things that i shouldn't be worried about, or are not the slightest priority whatsoever. life is a messed up thing, but people fight for it everyday. i guess its one of those things that because you have it, you don't know its full worth. for me right this minute life isn't so peachy keen and i would trade my life for anything, but i guess i just should open my eyes wider - a friend told me that once, it was a comment he gave me for something i wrote in a blog. you know people are a mystery. well some people. i don't think i will ever understand you, not in a million years, and i thought hey why not try...but i'm not too sure anymore.
wow at the beginning of this i was rather uneasy and well, upset i guess you could say, but now i feel better. my chest feels lighter and i breath easy. i have just come to the realization of why there are blogs. they are there to help you let it all out, so show off talent(not in my case - with my poor spelling and crappy word choice -never!) and to share with random people the little things in your life that to you seem the world.
i think now i can go to bed with an ease.
so good night, until next time...
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