one sided conversation
i just want to sleep.
it was awkward.
we were both so quiet.
neither of us knew what to say.
it was odd.
we just sat there.
we both thought it would have been different...easier.
but it wasn't.
it was soo hard.
and we just sat there.
like two idiots.
it was sad.
i was sad.
like we would talk, odd silence, talk again, odd silence once more.
it would go on like that.
no, i wasn't even thinking.
i just didn't know what to say or do or think next.
it was like i was being forced to be there.
but i wasn't.
it was odd.
i don't like telling people i like them.
and then we just talked.
about stupid stuff.
then go back on topic.
and then stupid stuff again.
it was gay.
and then we would look at each other and then look away right away.
it was like school kid shit.
i just couldn't look him in the eyes.
if i did i would have cracked, i just know it.
- like you became strangers all of a sudden?
yeah.
strangers.
and that's what hurt.
the stranger part.
it was the type of awkward silence that you would see on a blind date with people who don't know each other at all. it was stupid.
i mean he isn't some kind of stranger, i mean i told him i liked him, and sure its not mutual, but it was as if i was ashamed that i told him...that he now knows how i feel.
it's gay.
and i felt stupid.
i still feel stupid.
why didn't i have more to say?
why couldn't i say what i felt better?
with more words.
ARGH
i think it was because i didn't want to show him how it hurt.
show how much i care?
didn't want to cry?
i donno.
it was stupid.
and i keep playing it in my head.
over and over again.
thinking what i could have done.
no not differently, better.
it's gay.
he's gay .
i donno.
everyone is gay.
no, not pissed at him.
at me.
its funny.
when we were talking and not just sitting there like idiots.
i saw why i liked him.
lol.
he made comments on things i said.
i said i was sorry i put him in this position
and he was like you always say sorry.
things that other people don't catch, he noticed things like that.
it was stupid shit like that.
and we were joking around and he's like don't worry i won't tell anyone, not even where you are ticklish...and right there i just wanted to say shut up don't remind me.
don't remind me of everything.
i just wanted him to shut up.
but then at the same time i didn't.
its ok.
sorry about this all.
me ranting.
i fell bad about all this ranting .
it was awkward.
we were both so quiet.
neither of us knew what to say.
it was odd.
we just sat there.
we both thought it would have been different...easier.
but it wasn't.
it was soo hard.
and we just sat there.
like two idiots.
it was sad.
i was sad.
like we would talk, odd silence, talk again, odd silence once more.
it would go on like that.
no, i wasn't even thinking.
i just didn't know what to say or do or think next.
it was like i was being forced to be there.
but i wasn't.
it was odd.
i don't like telling people i like them.
and then we just talked.
about stupid stuff.
then go back on topic.
and then stupid stuff again.
it was gay.
and then we would look at each other and then look away right away.
it was like school kid shit.
i just couldn't look him in the eyes.
if i did i would have cracked, i just know it.
- like you became strangers all of a sudden?
yeah.
strangers.
and that's what hurt.
the stranger part.
it was the type of awkward silence that you would see on a blind date with people who don't know each other at all. it was stupid.
i mean he isn't some kind of stranger, i mean i told him i liked him, and sure its not mutual, but it was as if i was ashamed that i told him...that he now knows how i feel.
it's gay.
and i felt stupid.
i still feel stupid.
why didn't i have more to say?
why couldn't i say what i felt better?
with more words.
ARGH
i think it was because i didn't want to show him how it hurt.
show how much i care?
didn't want to cry?
i donno.
it was stupid.
and i keep playing it in my head.
over and over again.
thinking what i could have done.
no not differently, better.
it's gay.
he's gay .
i donno.
everyone is gay.
no, not pissed at him.
at me.
its funny.
when we were talking and not just sitting there like idiots.
i saw why i liked him.
lol.
he made comments on things i said.
i said i was sorry i put him in this position
and he was like you always say sorry.
things that other people don't catch, he noticed things like that.
it was stupid shit like that.
and we were joking around and he's like don't worry i won't tell anyone, not even where you are ticklish...and right there i just wanted to say shut up don't remind me.
don't remind me of everything.
i just wanted him to shut up.
but then at the same time i didn't.
its ok.
sorry about this all.
me ranting.
i fell bad about all this ranting .
7 Comments:
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Alright. I feel that I should comment on this due to the fact that have just gone though it. lol some people told me that by me telling a friend how i felt, that I screwed things up. Once you tell somebody that you have feelings for them, it changed things a lot. All of a sudden uoi become like strangers and you never know what to say to each other. There will also be a big distance between you two. In a way its like you lost them. BUT if i had to do it again, I would have changed nothing. If I told her how i felt and it was mutual it would have been well worth it. High risk but even higher reward.
Wow it looks like that was a major one sided conversation :\ maybe they were just reading and letting you get it all out... but thats kind of odd when you are letting everything out.
-Andrew
WOW someone turned you down? Why? I don’t know what hell he was thinkin. Half slo, half cro, Beautiful, smart and funny. What else is a guy looking for? Well even though I don’t know this guy. I’m sure you can do better. You deserve someone who appreciates you and you will find him. I’m sure there will be tons of guys going after you. You can and will have your pick of the pile. Remember after the rain the sun comes out. Unless you are like me and live in London where it rains non stop haha.
Just remember when you are taking your pick of the pile to not break hearts :D you don't want to become someone like that do you :D
- Andrew
Has it resolved? Is everything ok? DO you still like him? Are you friends still? Again?
galen,
yeah i guess you can say things have been resolved. yes still friends, and yes i still like him, but i think more as a friend and nothing more.
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