revelation
screw this all....this confusion..this over thinking..this wondering what if...all this is stupid...the mere idea of me liking you and this back and forth and all this asking friends for advice..whats the point? its all "stupid and retarded" feelings or not, i will shut them out and close that door and let it pass and just let go, because one day they will be gone for good. what happened happened and i being the typical girl read more into it and there you go another perfect little tale to tell your kids at night before they go to sleep. forget the happy endings and all the talk about true love and love at first sight and that all will be understood in due time. cuz time is up and nothing is understood, no hint or pointer. no skies parting and god coming down and revealing it all to us. stop hoping for something that won't happen, something that just isn't "meant to be".
sure you might read this and think wow she's hard on herself and yeah i am and always will be - you know that and called me on it before - but if i'm not hard on myself who will be? if i'm not then i will let go of myself and then i can say good-bye to it all. the fantasies end here. periode. end. finish. the line is drawn, don't cross over to the other side. life as we know it is messed.
its dooms day, the trumpets are playing and now its your turn on stage. let them all watch you...stare at you while you play out your little life from birth to this day. one life in a world of billions. someone dying everyday, every minute, every second. show them why you are so important to save. why your life is better than the next. give it a try, and forgive them if they laugh. you are just so typical they can't help but laugh. typical human, typical person, typical girl, typical typical typical...nothing making you more special than the rest.
in a crowd you are covered, eaten by the hungry pack of wolves waiting on your doorstep. they are waiting for you to take one step into this sunny world of yours. waiting for you to take that one bad step, for you to assume, over look and think too much of something that just isn't meant to be. give it up. let it go. its not really worth it in the end. honestly you'd realize it if you would just take a step back out of this life of yours and stand on the side lines and watch. it just isn't really worth it in the end....
sure you might read this and think wow she's hard on herself and yeah i am and always will be - you know that and called me on it before - but if i'm not hard on myself who will be? if i'm not then i will let go of myself and then i can say good-bye to it all. the fantasies end here. periode. end. finish. the line is drawn, don't cross over to the other side. life as we know it is messed.
its dooms day, the trumpets are playing and now its your turn on stage. let them all watch you...stare at you while you play out your little life from birth to this day. one life in a world of billions. someone dying everyday, every minute, every second. show them why you are so important to save. why your life is better than the next. give it a try, and forgive them if they laugh. you are just so typical they can't help but laugh. typical human, typical person, typical girl, typical typical typical...nothing making you more special than the rest.
in a crowd you are covered, eaten by the hungry pack of wolves waiting on your doorstep. they are waiting for you to take one step into this sunny world of yours. waiting for you to take that one bad step, for you to assume, over look and think too much of something that just isn't meant to be. give it up. let it go. its not really worth it in the end. honestly you'd realize it if you would just take a step back out of this life of yours and stand on the side lines and watch. it just isn't really worth it in the end....
1 Comments:
its not the way i feel....i wrote this in the heat of the moment...another reason i shouldn't keep this blog.
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